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Saturday, March 29th, 2008
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11:26 am
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| Monday, January 21st, 2008
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10:57 am - I am happy.
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I'm not superstitiously afraid it will go away because I'm posting about it. This lack of fear makes it feel more genuine than other times.
I started writing fiction again for the first time in years. I haven't written anything other than a few short snips of stories since high school. I started writing this morning, and realised I am happy. I'm writing because I'm happy, or writing makes me happy. I don't want to analyze it, just be content being happy. :)
current mood:  happy
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| Monday, October 8th, 2007
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11:23 am - checking in
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hi ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sraedi :} and everyone else
Yup, I'm still alive. I've just been playing Rappelz and not doing much else besides that and work. Thanks for reminding me to be social with people other than my guildies. I'll get on that after a few more lvls. ;)
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
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3:40 pm - evolution, gender differences
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Long but insightful. http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/goodaboutmen.htm
Cliffs Notes:
We're decended from twice as many women as men.
"Perhaps nature designed women to seek to be lovable, whereas men were designed to strive, mostly unsuccessfully, for greatness."
"If you’re the only group member who can kill an antelope or find water or talk to the gods or kick a field goal, the group can’t afford to get rid of you."
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| Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
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7:49 pm - Medical condition of the week
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Cutaneous allodynia sounds exactly like what I have. Except that the only references to it I've found are in conjunction with migraines, which I rarely get.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 15th, 2007
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1:02 pm - Two dreams and name-dropping
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Friday night:
Setting: the last 2 rows in the front centre section of an auditorium: 30 to 50 seats filled with Players. At least 1 row in front of us was completely empty, but there were other non-Players people in the auditorium, not paying attention to us.
I was in the (house)right-most seat in the second-to-last row of the section, talking to ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lytningbug, who was in the second or third seat in the row behind me, and shatterwake who was next to her.
outoforder2day was standing beside me with a modern-looking 9mm handgun. He asked for a volunteer to be the first to die, but in a cryptic way that meant they wouldn't really die. It might have been a LARP or part of some kind of theatre game. Most of the people in the two rows saw and heard, but most of them didn't appear concerned. While I internally debated volunteering, someone I thought was superlib in a clown costume, but was probably Jen the GM, volunteered. She got up and left, and 2 or 3 more seats were emptied by volunteers, and I had still not volunteered. lytningbug also did not volunteer, and there was significance in that.
Interpretation: missed opportunities as result of waiting instead of going for the unknown.
Saturday night:
After class on the last day of training in NYC. Bill was there, but no recollection of Todd having been in the class. (The two coworkers who are supposed to take it with me.) I hadn't gone shopping on St Mark's Place yet because the evenings went by so quickly. Instead I'd been stopping at a nearby mall every day, that I was now tired of, and spending more than I'd meant to on food. I was going to meet coderanger and had only 1 casual outfit. Something about cleaning clothes.
At one point I was driving, somewhere ... near suburbs but not in them ... that in my dream should have been familiar to me but the roads were different. Backroads with few or no buildings, that look like they should be approaching highways around a turn, but just lead to more backroads.
Back in the city. Following around this photographer guy with short red or blond hair. Sort of a cross between singebkdrft and abittermemory, but a stranger (well, someone I'd met there earlier in the week). He was taking my group out to dinner on his corporate card; there was some kind of business deal, and more people were invited than should have been, and I was one who probably shouldn't have been there. Went to a club with bluewindkitsune and the photographer was there. He asked if I wanted to see his apartment -- he explained he was moving, and had to transfer the lease right away. I thought I shouldn't go see a mostly-stranger's apartment, but that somehow it was ok, so I said sure. He then said I probably wouldn't want to live there though, and probably never heard of the area it was in. I asked where it was, and he said the name of the area, that started with E, that I'd never heard of. He showed me on a map, and it was on Staten Island. Heh, I suppose it could have been Eltingville, if my mind is really that connected with google maps when I'm sleeping.
Interpretation: bring enough casual clothes, you're not working all the time.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
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10:09 pm
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Venerable Crone,
Dark Lady of Death and Change,
Thank you for the wisdom to see the need
And for the courage to act
Not fearlessly, but with hope.
Help me to let go.
Loving Mother,
Bright Lady of Compassion and Life,
Thank you for the life we had.
Hold him to your bosom in comfort.
Soothe the wounds I left
So in time he can love again.
Eternal Maiden,
Pale Lady of Innocence and Youth,
Thank you for freeing my spirit.
Give him the kind of love I wanted to
But could never offer.
Send him a maiden pure and true.
2003-09-30
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
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10:53 pm - oh, and
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I and the Albany branch of the KGB stalked secondhandwhore at her work today. ^___^
And saw A come in, but didn't call his name because he looked in a hurry.
current mood:  silly
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
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11:05 pm - quizzie-poo
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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5:36 pm - Why they shouldn't let me and my ex-boss on Lotus Sametime
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Identifying info (names, url) changed. And yes, I'm now aware it's 'Portal', not 'Process'
From the guy who came up with Systems Control, Reporting, and Enterprise Web Unit or screwu as a server name:
Bob: what is wps? don't make me start making up names.
me: WebSphere Process Server?
me: do we even have that?
Bob: umm... I choose... YES!
Bob: ?
Bob: I was going more for "wimpy people suck"
me: or a Microsoft Works file?
me: heh
Bob: we pee slowly
me: >_<
Bob: women participate smartly?
Bob: work pork slacker?
Bob: you transmogrify me.
me: walk past Starbucks
Bob: whip peons savagely
Bob: white pigeons suck
me: workplace smart@$$
Bob: what, pink shoes?
me: worry; people smoking
Bob: white people's snow
me: would pomegranate stain?
Bob: worried people smell.
me: srsly, was WebSphere Process Server what you were looking for? What's the context?
Bob: I don't know what you're talking about, actually.
me: ohhhhh!!!
me: haha
me: I'd closed the window
me: I'd forgotten it was something I said!
Bob: was it something you said?
me: I was talking about the url, https://portal.company.com/wps/
me: and wanted to know if Randy had tried it without the /wps/
me: but I saw him on the elevator, and yes, he did.
Bob: oh.
me: so it's all good. :)
Bob: yes he did.
me: yay!
Bob: what are you wearing?
me: everybody dance!
Bob: sorry.. can't help myself.
me: you saw me. :P
Bob: I'm a banana.
me: grep pants, turqoise top
me: grey jacket now, too
me: you didn't see me when you walked in tho
Bob: I have to watch where I walk, or I fall like Miss USA.
me: I called out "ob", but you didn't recognise your name w/o the first B.
me: that was John Doe walking with me. He's the one who wants a position in Network.
me: or an internship
Bob: neither of which is he going to get, of course.
me: and me to go to his uncle's jacuzzi
me: oops, I'm wearing grey pants, not grep pants.
Bob: he's trying to get you into his uncle's jacuzzi?
me: yeah, he's housesitting when his uncle goes on vacation this summer
Bob: hmm.. I want a jacuzzi now!
me: LOLz
Bob: but only if you wear your grep bathing suit.
me: i don't have a grep one, but i have a grey one
Bob: well.. i'd have to settle for that then.
Bob: is his uncle's jacuzzi clothing optional?
me: dunno
me: I opt for clothing
Bob: probably not a bad option, I would think
Bob: I opt not.. and that gets me in trouble every time.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 7th, 2007
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11:14 pm - Class of 2002 Reunion idea
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For my friends interested in going to the reunion, but don't know which events to choose and don't want to go to all of them: I thought we could pick one event (Reunion All Class Picnic on Saturday?) to all sign up for, then go off and do our own thing together that night.
Any takers? I've already talked with distantantenna and lessan, and will try to reach other people who don't read lj often/ever.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
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11:06 pm - The curse is broken
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For a number of years, I've maintained the idea that Valentine's Day is cursed for me. Because, well, bad things have happened on that day when I'm with someone.
Today as I was out for the fourth time shoveling my car out, I thought I probably wouldn't get to see coderanger today. I thought of the curse, this time weather preventing me from seeing my beloved at all this V-Day. And it was because of my belief in the curse all these years, that my expectations for the day were low and I wan't particularly disappointed. After all, I thought, this is only 1 day in 365, and I love him *every* day; so what if we can't be together this February 14th, we will another day.
And with that thought, the curse was broken.
current mood: loved
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 19th, 2007
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10:26 pm - Players werewolves r hawt
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I dreamed Greg Z was the lead in a Players non-musical play. The part I remember, was I thought near the end of the show, when he'd subdued his werewolf side and was back to looking more or less like a normal human. I made a mental note to compliment the lighting people on getting Greg's finger to glow. (umm, what? werewolf, not E.T.) I thought that was the end. He had been using a real mirror at audience level throughout the show, but this time near the end he jumped up on stage and looked into a fake mirror (like in Phantom, but not done as well) with Sam W playing his werewolf side. I wondered if people would get that that was supposed to be a mirror too. I was impressed at how similar the makeup people got Greg and Sam to look. A few girls in the audience screamed when Werewolf Sam jumped off the stage and ran up the aisle. Greg jumped down, ran after him and caught his ankle. Maybe that was the end? That's all I remember. :p
current mood:  tired
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 26th, 2006
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11:29 pm - To remind myself I *am* smart
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I was upgrading something to fix a vulnerability. I almost gave up because it was late and I was tired and maybe soon someone will post an easier way to do this than the convoluted thing I was trying to do. As I was about to log off and go to bed, I realised I'd been going about it all wrong. I removed what I'd done so far, and restarted (yay backup directories) the much easier way, tested, and lo and behold, it worked!
(What I'd done first -was- pretty stupid, but I forgive myself because I haven't been getting enough sleep. Holding out for EDT->EST.)
I'm so glad I got this out of the way. I've known about it for a few days but been too busy to fix it, and it had been stressing me more than I'd realised. I know that now because I feel much better and that the weekend will be more manageable and I may even have time to paint, in addition to the more important things.
current mood: stress down, confidence up
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, October 20th, 2006
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6:29 pm
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Today was stresfully wonderful!
And it wasn't even really that stressful!
It's exhilarating to fix a problem that has seven people standing around your desk for two hours!
Also: LDAP is a bitch.
But soon, LDAP will be MY bitch!
current mood:  accomplished
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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10:42 pm - work vs college
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Systems administration is a good job for someone who loved school and never wanted to leave. Always more to learn, never a dull moment.
But, I miss being able to get into wrestling matches with attractive guys. That's something you just don't do where I work.
current mood: flirty
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
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6:08 pm - a social divide
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| Sunday, June 11th, 2006
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10:11 am - My June is full
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Expanded from a conversation with itjoe:
Work is crazy busy, I'm project lead setting up WebSphere Portal on a bunch of servers, we just added a fourth environment. (Dev, User Test, Production, and now Staging), doing overtime, too high a grade to get paid for it, but through a loophole I do. :D
My June is just about full: a picnic today, a hairdresser appointment on Monday; 2 auditions, parents visiting, NIN concert, voice lessons, a neurologist appointment, meeting with a lady from work about hosting her side-business website, modeling for another friend's website, making garb for me and coderanger for the Sterling Festival... fwahh!
(Though we're both going as peasants this time because it's easier to costume quickly, and better for walking around outdoors and in the heat, I'm really a 14th-century lady at heart.)
current mood: busy
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
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3:02 pm - A Dream, In which I knock Salma Hayek off a MUD.
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I was in danger from multiple enemies, male and female, who weren't all working together. I had to be careful of many, because I wasn't exactly sure who all of theme were. But not all; I did have a few friends.
An old mansion, falling apart, also traps planted. Be wary of floorboards.
Someone neutral told me Salma Hayek was badmouthing me in Farsi on a forum. I had been testing something in tigerlily and kicked her off lily again. I said I'd try to fix it, and pointed out Lebanese people call the language Lebanese, not Farsi.
I could levetate, the way I do in "flying dreams". Push off the ground and can float around a little before I have to touch down again. Touched down next to Tech Ryan and giggled. Glad I didn't have to touch so many floorboards anymore.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 13th, 2006
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11:16 pm - I know what's wrong with me!
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nostalgic